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Wanting to Write But Not Writing

 Lately I have been in this weird limbo of wanting to write, but not wanting to write when given the opportunity. I keep thinking of the same topics to write in my head when I walk to class, wait in line, etc. I am not sure why I don't have the energy to write even though part of it feels like a bomb that is ticking. The more I leave something, the more I will forget over time and the less detailed my writing will be. I think writing is one of the best ways for me to document moments in life and I think one regret I may have after graduating from college is not writing enough for The Tech. Here are some topics I thought of writing but ended up not because the timing felt off for publication: 

- Thoughts on murals and dorm culture

- Struggle with sugar (probably too personal and in the grey area) 

- Experience in ESP (this can wait a year or two before I graduate) 

- Thoughts of the BSO (not urgent since I will have more to say after going to more concerts) 

I think one barrier to writing articles for The Tech is that I feel like they have to be formal and serious. The word is now in my mind. It's perfectionism. I should keep reassuring myself that the first draft will not be good and that's fine. It's a draft. A draft is better than having nothing at all because with a draft, you have substance you can edit and refine to create something that can be published. Having thoughts all crowded in my mind will get me nowhere. I wonder if one way to address this barrier would be to simply write my article ideas on this blog, then start typing on a word processor, or to write my articles in a notebook and then type it up online. Maybe it is something worth experimenting instead of just going along with what I have been doing in the past year. 

I am still puzzled how I used to have the time to publish biweekly in freshman spring and after that it has been monthly. I know that in freshman spring, I did not hold officerships for MIT ESP and I did not do training for long distance running. Still, I wish I devoted more time to writing. What has happened the past semester is writing during a break or writing during the wee hours of the morning since I decided to be spontaneous and just churn out something for publication. 


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