Skip to main content

Wanting to Write But Not Writing

 Lately I have been in this weird limbo of wanting to write, but not wanting to write when given the opportunity. I keep thinking of the same topics to write in my head when I walk to class, wait in line, etc. I am not sure why I don't have the energy to write even though part of it feels like a bomb that is ticking. The more I leave something, the more I will forget over time and the less detailed my writing will be. I think writing is one of the best ways for me to document moments in life and I think one regret I may have after graduating from college is not writing enough for The Tech. Here are some topics I thought of writing but ended up not because the timing felt off for publication: 

- Thoughts on murals and dorm culture

- Struggle with sugar (probably too personal and in the grey area) 

- Experience in ESP (this can wait a year or two before I graduate) 

- Thoughts of the BSO (not urgent since I will have more to say after going to more concerts) 

I think one barrier to writing articles for The Tech is that I feel like they have to be formal and serious. The word is now in my mind. It's perfectionism. I should keep reassuring myself that the first draft will not be good and that's fine. It's a draft. A draft is better than having nothing at all because with a draft, you have substance you can edit and refine to create something that can be published. Having thoughts all crowded in my mind will get me nowhere. I wonder if one way to address this barrier would be to simply write my article ideas on this blog, then start typing on a word processor, or to write my articles in a notebook and then type it up online. Maybe it is something worth experimenting instead of just going along with what I have been doing in the past year. 

I am still puzzled how I used to have the time to publish biweekly in freshman spring and after that it has been monthly. I know that in freshman spring, I did not hold officerships for MIT ESP and I did not do training for long distance running. Still, I wish I devoted more time to writing. What has happened the past semester is writing during a break or writing during the wee hours of the morning since I decided to be spontaneous and just churn out something for publication. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

YearCompass 2022-2023

 2022 had its highest highs and lowest lows. My freshman spring semester was not good, but at least I had the motivation to do well. Summer was probably the closest thing to utopia. Sophomore fall started off fine, but things eventually became a disaster and I am not exaggerating when I use the word "disaster."  Despite being aware of the many failures of this year, I think it is good for me to reflect upon 2022 and establish some goals and resolutions for 2023. Unlike previous years, I decided to give YearCompass a try since YearCompass provides a thorough examination and allows for deep contemplation.  Calendar Go through your calendar week by week. If you see an important event, family gathering, friendly get-together or a significant project, write it down here. Jan. 28-Jan. 30: NYC trip  Feb. 19: first BSO concert (Mozart and Bruckner) Mar. 20-Mar. 25: Washington DC trip  Apr. 16: Parkrun 5k May 11: Evgeny Kissin  Jun. 26: BAA 10k Jul. 24: Revere Beach...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Accepted BU RISE Essays

BU RISE is a 6-week research program at Boston University. In 2019, the acceptance rate was around 16% so it is a selective program. There are two tracks- internship and practicum. The internship is the one I applied to because I wanted to work in a lab. Unfortunately, BU RISE in 2020 was cancelled due to COVID-19. If you are applying to BU RISE, these essays may be a source of inspiration.  1.Why you selected your field of interest and what you would like to research (300 words)  First choice: medical laboratory research (biochemistry) Second choice: chemistry  Ever since 2018, I participated in a Science Olympiad event called Protein Modeling that sparked my interest in proteins. When I learned about the anti-CRISPR protein, it alarmed me that the protein stopped CRISPR from working. Wondering how this could happen, I used Jmol to build and visualize the protein model. Over time, I no longer viewed proteins as messy globs. Instead, I appreciated that the protein’s disti...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Frustrations of Wet Lab

     I am sitting at my desk in the lab, still mad and frustrated that I can’t even pipette properly. My cell counter results are dismal. I don’t know why I am getting such poor percentages for cell viability – I should be getting at least 90%, not 47%. I followed what my supervisor did an hour ago: perform a serial dilution four times, pipette trypan blue into each of the four wells, then pipette a bit of sample into the cell counter plate.       Fortunately, my supervisor came into the cell room to check on me and helped me with pipetting for the cell counter step. He got 89%, close to the ideal threshold. “I don’t know what’s going on,” he said. I could sense that his voice was tinged with frustration, which I understood. I was also mad for not having an answer. What exactly was wrong with my pipetting technique? Did I pipette too quickly, or did I not press the plunger correctly?       The whole cell counter incident frustrates ...
Post a Comment
Read more