2022 had its highest highs and lowest lows. My freshman spring semester was not good, but at least I had the motivation to do well. Summer was probably the closest thing to utopia. Sophomore fall started off fine, but things eventually became a disaster and I am not exaggerating when I use the word "disaster."
Despite being aware of the many failures of this year, I think it is good for me to reflect upon 2022 and establish some goals and resolutions for 2023. Unlike previous years, I decided to give YearCompass a try since YearCompass provides a thorough examination and allows for deep contemplation.
Calendar
Go through your calendar week by week. If you see an important event, family gathering, friendly get-together or a significant project, write it down here.
Jan. 28-Jan. 30: NYC trip
Feb. 19: first BSO concert (Mozart and Bruckner)
Mar. 20-Mar. 25: Washington DC trip
Apr. 16: Parkrun 5k
May 11: Evgeny Kissin
Jun. 26: BAA 10k
Jul. 24: Revere Beach with LMF
Aug. 1: NYC day trip (Museum Mile)
Aug. 27: NYC day trip (Lower East Side)
Sept. 16: Nobel Prize lecture (David Macmillan, chemistry)
Oct. 2: Jimmy Fund Boston Marathon Walk
Nov. 13: BAA half-marathon
Dec. 10: LMF Dîner de Noël
We live our lives through distinct but interconnected aspects. Take a look at the areas below and ask yourself what the significant events in each of them were. Write down your answers.
Personal Life, Family: trip to Hawaii, adventures around New England and NYC
Friends, Community: LMF senior brunch, diner de noel, movie nights, meals
Physical Health, Fitness: 5k, 10k, half-marathon, marathon walk
Habits that Define You: running every other day, tracking my financial spending
Career, Studies: conducting chemistry research, attending chemistry and chemical engineering lectures
Relaxation, Hobbies, Creativity: read 49 books (so close to 50!), went to more than 10 BSO concerts
Mental Health, Self-Knowledge: go to MIT Mental Health therapy once a month, journal 2-3 times a week
A Better Tomorrow: active member in ESP, taught 4 classes at Splash, became LMF historian
Six Sentences
The wisest decision I made… was going from couch to half-marathon in less than a year
The biggest lesson I learned…was to not have so much of my identity be fixed upon things I used to define myself in high school.
The biggest risk I took… being the director for MIT ESP Summer HSSP 2022
The biggest surprise of the year… was that I became good online friends with someone I didn't really know well during summer camp.
The most important thing I did for others… was writing reflections for The Tech so I could be a more understanding person
The biggest thing I completed… walking the Boston Marathon and fundraising $700+ for the Dana Farber Cancer Institute.
Six Questions
What are you most proud of?
I am most proud of my ability to maintain a running habit and achieve the running goals that I thought in 2021 were impossible or crazy.
Who are the three people who influenced you the most?
Given that I am in college, I don't live with my parents, so their influence is less than before. This is a hard question and I am just thinking of people who I admire deeply and find to be inspirational because of how passionate and diligent they are. I would probably my 7.03 tutor, my 5.35 friend who also had classes with me in 5.60/5.03/18.03, and my online friend in UT Austin.
What were you not able to accomplish?
I was able to eat a healthy diet during the summer and tracked my food, but then I lost control over what I ate during the fall semester and started eating a lot of sugary and fatty foods. I also did not accomplish my fall academic goal as I didn't do that well in classes. I wanted to get a 4.8 or 5.0 GPA for this semester, but unfortunately, this did not happen.
What is the best thing you have discovered about yourself?
I discovered that if I consistently run 3-4 times a week over the course of 12-16 weeks, I can achieve long distances. Before, I could never conceptualize how humans could run more than 10 miles.
What are you the most grateful for?
I am very grateful for the people at LMF because they make college much more bearable and enjoyable. I am grateful for my UROP mentor who is outgoing, friendly, and helpful. I am thankful for my MIT friends outside LMF who care about me and want to help me with schoolwork. I am thankful for my parent's support and professors who helped me go through topics one-on-one during office hours.
The Best Moments
Traveling to NYC, going to Hawaii, taking commuter rail during summer and wandering around random places in Massachusetts, walking the Jimmy Fund Boston Marathon Walk, listening to Holst's Planet Symphony and hearing Yuja Wang along with other stars perform, having late night conversations with friends in LMF, being immersed in nature, going to many art and history museums, etc.
Three Biggest Accomplishments
List your three greatest accomplishments from last year here.
Participating in the Jimmy Fund Boston Marathon Walk. Running the BAA half-marathon. Directing a program with another admin for MIT ESP.
What have you done to achieve this?
I stuck to a training schedule to achieve my exercise goals. I devoted one day a week to doing a long-distance run and the weekdays had shorter runs. I would block out one to two hours of the day for running so I could accomplish it. For directing the program, I planned out the program with the other co-director and we had to be on top of making deadlines. This developed my communication and organization skills, which I am grateful for.
Who helped you achieve these successes? How?
The supportive people at Parkrun were very inspirational because the environment was encouraging. It was a good decision for me to go there a couple of times to be comfortable with doing 5ks. The people I met along the way to the finish line at the marathon walk were also motivational. People I met at MIT Running Club encouraged me to set higher goals and run as a positive way to release stress during the school year. The many MIT ESP admin members were helpful in making Summer HSSP 2022 possible.
Three Biggest Challenges
List your three biggest challenges from last year here.
Feeling lost and uncertain about what I really want to do in the future. Struggling with academics in sophomore fall. Having a tumultuous relationship with food.
Who or what helped you overcome these challenges?
The academic support system at MIT (CAPD, UPOP, UROP) helped me navigate the various options of what I can do in the future, whether it is going to medical school, attending graduate school, or finding a job after graduation. For academic struggles, I am grateful for finding a tutor and going to office hours to talk to my professor. I am also glad I started contacting S^3 and talking to my academic advisors about these struggles. Reading the book Mindset and Atomic Habits during winter break was very transformative because it made me have faith in myself again, which was something I lost during the semester. Being surrounded by peers that want me to succeed also made me want to become a better student. My therapist was helpful by suggesting me to reconsider my summer habit of tracking food to the point I recorded each gram of sugar, fat, and calories.
What have you learned about yourself while overcoming these challenges?
I have learned that as much as I think I am alone, a lot of people out there are experiencing the same quarter-life crisis of not knowing what they want to do in life. Uncertainty about majors, careers, higher education is not unusual. I learned that to some extent, it might be a good thing to have an open mind and question whether the path I set myself early on is the actual path I want. As for academic struggles, I learned that struggle doesn't necessarily negate all the traits that I once had in high school. If I take the time to plan and execute new habits (time management, minimizing distractions and procrastination), embrace a growth vs fixed mindset, then my learning experience will be more enjoyable than before. I learn that while tracking food has its benefits because it is an effective tool for weight loss, at some point it can become an obsessive behavior that is not healthy. I know this sounds messed up, but I am thinking of whether I should go back to tracking my food because I ended up overeating and eating a lot of junk food during the fall semester, which caused weight gain even though I was running a couple times a week.
Forgiveness
Did anything happen during the past year that still needs to be forgiven? Deeds or words that made you feel bad? Or are you angry with yourself? Write it down here. Do good for yourself and forgive. If you don’t feel ready to forgive yet, note it down anyway. It can work wonders.
I still need to learn how to forgive myself for the academic catastrophe that happened during the fall semester. How I went from enjoying my classes in September to procrastinating and losing the motivation to study in November is sad. I need to talk to myself in a more compassionate, understanding way instead of a harsh, critical way. I still need to forgive myself when it comes to crushes and love. I wrote quite a bit on the subject, but I wouldn't say it has been fully resolved. Why can't I accept myself for being human and falling into these emotional traps that so many of us have been through?
I don't understand how I can embody two extremes when it comes to food from recording every single thing that enters my mouth to eating whatever is in the kitchen even though I don't feel hungry and I really don't need to be stuffing more sugars and fats down my throat. My relationship with sweets and baked goods is fraught, as I like them for their taste but am aware that it is not healthy in the long term.
Letting Go
Is there anything else you need to say? Is there anything you must let go of before you can start your next year? Draw or write, then think about it and let it go.
I just need to let go of the fact that I cannot change the past and the only effective solution is to make the future better than the past. There's no point in having pity on myself for what I didn't do this semester. If I have the ability to stick to a goal such as running, then I can stick to a goal and adopt a healthier lifestyle and become a better student.
I also need to stop thinking about my ex-crush because it is not healthy.
The Past Year in Three Words
Choose three words to define your past year.
somber, difficult, surprising
The Book of My Past Year
A book or a movie was made about your past year. What title would you give it?
Is There Light at the End of the Tunnel?
Goodbye to Your Last Year
If there is anything else left that you would like to write down, or there is anybody you would like to say goodbye to, do it now.
2022 had successes and a lot of failures. I am happy that I started to take running seriously and became a lot more active in education outreach through ESP by taking on various roles as an admin and becoming a better teacher through Splash. However, I am also very sad about how I don't feel any sort of reconciliation regarding my relationship with food. In the past, junk food has been a source of comfort and a way to relieve stress. I have also viewed junk food as something inherently unhealthy and refused to eat it when there were other options.
I am sad about how I threw time management out of the window during the fall semester as I started off being on top of my assignments but once October rolled around I fell off the edge of the Earth. I wrote assignments last minute, had to ask for extensions, did not take advantage of certain educational opportunities, studied a lot only to do below average, then felt more discouraged and gave up on the class and put in a half-hearted effort. I am sad that I somehow couldn't find the time to study while sleeping enough hours, so I ended up not studying a lot for 7.03 and performed badly on the second midterm. I am sad that I didn't enjoy 5.353 as much as I expected when it was the class I wrote about being excited about in my MIT application. I wish I can say 2022 was a success and a blast, but honestly, I remember the year more for its failures than successes even though both should be given equal weight.
I want to say goodbye to my former crush, as silly as it sounds. To tell you the truth, I barely knew you, yet you occupied my mind a lot for two years. During the summer, I gradually fell out of love as I realized it wasn't feasible to be with you and came to terms with the fact that I couldn't continue this unrequited love. I am sorry for saying some silly things to you when I visited you almost a year ago, but I am still grateful to have the opportunity to meet you. While we have different interests and hobbies, I enjoyed the conversations we had about books we enjoyed reading and other topics. I won't forget the time I first met you in 2021. It felt like something from a movie. I wouldn't say I have fully moved on from you, but once I am more emotionally mature, I would be delighted to see you again even though we have parted ways to some extent because we have our own lives with our own friends in different cities.
Dare to Dream Big
What does the year ahead of you look like? What will happen in an ideal case? Why will it be great? Write, draw, let go of your expectations and dare to dream.
I don't know what will happen in 2023, but I hope that it won't be as disastrous as the fall of 2022. The ideal case is something like September of 2022: I enjoy what I am learning in classes, do my work ahead of time, study in advance, and make the best use of my academic resources. This will be great because this is going back to the fact that under the right circumstances, I am curious. I like going to lectures about innovative technologies and findings in the life sciences. I enjoy poster sessions where I can learn about research from other labs. I hope that there will be more certainty in 2023 regarding whether I would like to pursue Course 6-7 or stay with Course 5-7. I signed up for a marathon in May and hope that I actually can complete the marathon without suffering any serious injuries.
I will be very happy if I can make substantial progress with time management and find effective solutions to minimize distractions and procrastination. Having a more healthy and loving relationship with food would be good because it kind of drives me crazy.
The ideal situation is that I catch early signs of burnout and stop them from having a domino effect on my life, which is my theory as to why fall 2022 became unbearable.
Next Year
Take a look at the areas of your life and decide your goals for each of them for the next year. Put those goals on the page–this is your first step towards realizing them.
Personal Life, Family: be nicer to my parents, spend more time with my brother if possible
Friends, Community: complete my LMF historian project, think before I speak or text
Physical Health, Fitness: run a marathon, lose 4 kg, cut down on junk food, improve average mile time by 15-30 seconds, consider cross training
Habits that Define You: read a few more books this year vs 2022 (52 books), reduce procrastination, minimize distractions, follow a daily schedule
Career, Studies: secure a summer research position through MISTI, spend more time in the lab, have a cumulative GPA of 4.8 or higher
Relaxation, Hobbies, Creativity: practice more piano, keep going to as many BSO concerts as possible, write more articles for The Tech (biweekly basis, weekly would be amazing), write up some things to submit for New York Times columns or department competitions
Mental Health, Self-Knowledge: write more reflections, journal more frequently (daily or every other day), blog more often
A Better Tomorrow: teach more classes at MIT ESP and continue refining/improving teaching skills, take on new roles as admin in MIT ESP and guide younger admin
Magical Triplets for the Year Ahead
These three things I will love about myself.
Sidenote: it's sad how I never thought of loving myself even though this is the best thing I can do for myself. I am stuck in this body with this mind for the rest of my life.
My potential to persist and stick to my goals, my ability to reflect and write insightful articles, my determination to achieve what I want and not get too bogged down on my current state
I am ready to let go of these three things.
Frustrations about feeling romantic love, fear of whether I will graduate with a job or get into a good graduate school, fear of whether I will do well academically for the rest of my time in college
These three people will be my pillars during rough times
My parents, people in LMF, other MIT friends
These three things I will dare to discover.
It would be cool to try dating or exploring romantic relationships, but I still don't feel ready yet. Discovering hidden gems in the Boston/Cambridge area and learning more fascinating things in the life sciences field, whether it is through classes like 5.08 and 7.06 or UROP research.
These three things I will have the power to say no to.
People who pull me down instead of making me become better. Choices that ruin my health in the long term (sleeping late, eating a poor diet). Thoughts of giving up on myself and thinking that the only time I will peak is high school, which is not true if I am determined to embrace a different mindset.
These three things I will make my surroundings cozy with.
Books that I should purchase like Atomic Habits and Mindset since I want to refer to them in the future. More postcards on the wall. Some motivational quotes and posters would be a plus.
These three things I will do every morning.
Eat breakfast, drink tea, pack lunch without having to worry about being late (the downside of living in New House).
These three things I will pamper myself with regularly.
BSO concerts, spending time with friends in the kitchen or quiet lounge, exploring Boston.
These three places I will visit.
Paris, Singapore, Taipei.
I will connect with my loved ones in these three ways.
Send an occasional postcard back home, even though there's digital technology. Keep texting in the family group chat. Try to have more video calls with my brother.
With these three presents I will reward my successes.
Tanglewood tickets, Boston Calling tickets, whale watching.
Six Sentences about My Next Year
This year, I will not procrastinate any more on…
doing my academic work. This involves problem sets, midterms, projects, reports, and essays. I am well aware that procrastination does not actually solve the problem. It feels good cause I avoid the problem and ignore the problem. It's like trying to forget something unpleasant. It's really bad.
This year I will draw the most energy from…
Inspirational friends who are passionate about what they study and know what they want to do in the future with the knowledge they have. People who are curious, want to master the material, and truly understand it instead of focusing on getting the bare minimum for an A.
This year I will be the bravest when…
I finalize my marathon commitment by paying for the hotel room and taking the train to Providence.
This year I will say yes when…
I get to learn more about how powerful life sciences and other technologies are when it comes to curing various diseases. Keep going to guest lectures, seminars, and MIT Biotech Group events!
This year I advise myself to…
Control the day, instead of letting the day control you. It's much better when you can make the decision.
This year will be special for me because…
I will get to learn subjects in greater depth even though that means more challenging classes. Challenges should be viewed in a positive way! I will get to try new subjects like Chinese Calligraphy during IAP and learn more computer science by taking 6.009 and 6.0002 (maybe switch to Course 6-7?)
My word for the year ahead
Pick a word to symbolize and define the year ahead. You can look at this word if you need some extra energy, so you remember not to give up your dreams.
Mindset. After reading Carol Dweck's book, I realize that one factor responsible for success isn't someone's inherent abilities (fixed mindset), but rather their mindset. What we say to our mind can have far-reaching effects.
Secret Wish
Unleash your mind. What is your secret wish for the next year?
It should be a secret, but I will just say it here: getting featured in the New York Times
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