Reflections and Images

I always wanted to write this blog post, so here I go! If you don't know me, I love stuffed animals. I am not sure if this raises some eyebrows because some of you might find me to be quite immature and childish. You can tell I like stuffed animals based on the fact my profile picture (as of 2020) includes a stuffed animal and my homepage on this blog features a picture of my stuffed animals too. You may ask, "Why do you like stuffed animals?" I suppose that when I use my stuffed animals to talk to my brother, it is like I embody another identity. I become a person that is less serious and more light-hearted as opposed to the demeanor I often portray. My brother may disagree because the voices that my stuffed animals make probably annoy him. In a way, stuffed animals are like what puppets. Also, stuffed animals represent this childhood that I don't want to leave. I know that I will become an adult, but I find that hard to accept. Although I cannot go back to my ch...

I recently finished Walden , which is one of the most difficult books I read in my life. What inspired me to read Walden was after I read Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism as Henry David Thoreau is one of Newport's source of inspiration. In Digital Minimalism , Newport mentions some of Thoreau's ideas that are still relevant but often ignored in the 21st century such as the importance of solitude and nature. I thought his approach of connecting his ideas with 19th century ideas was pretty cool, so I wanted to read the book. As an aspiring minimalist, I couldn't neglect the great work of Thoreau. I learned so many things from this book that I previously never considered before. I think I shall read the book again because I read too fast this time. Even if I read it the second time, nevertheless I will learn something new from the book. What struck me the most about this book was how beautiful Thoreau portrayed Walden pond. From the mesmerizing qualities of the pond to ...

Recently, I was bored and decided to look at pictures in the many photo albums that my family has. This sounds weird but I saw some photo albums for the first time. These photo albums were photo albums before I was alive as they included pictures of my parents before they married and other pictures before they knew each other. Previously, I considered these photo albums an afterthought because I wasn't in any of the pictures. After looking at these photo albums featuring my dad and mom, however, I realized that they are important for me. As I looked through many happy pictures of my parents traveling to various places, I focused on what I saw. Instead of being reminded of some intense arguments my parents had in the past, I forgot about it. Even if I have no recollections of my parents' past lives, I find it valuable to look at these photo albums because they serve as a kind reminder that there were indeed times when my parents were happy. It is easy for someone like me who t...

In my school, IB is a big deal. IB is an internationally recognized program that offers college-level classes for high schoolers. Although my school offers a sufficient number of APs, the majority of juniors and seniors take IB classes. In my school, IB is viewed as superior to AP because the teachers proclaim that IB is more difficult and challenging than AP. This belief causes many high schoolers to have this preconception that in order to impress colleges with the hardest course load, they should obviously take IB diploma. For my grade, over a third of my classmates take IB diploma. During the spring semester of my sophomore year, most of our classmates talked about what classes they were planning to take in junior year. Although some didn't hesitate to take IB diploma, some people debated between taking IB diploma or IB certificate (combination of IB and AP). For me, I planned to take IB diploma, but I never felt comfortable with the choice. To be honest, the only reason I co...

In the past month, I have started this daily habit of running on the elliptical for 30-45 minutes while listening to a podcast. Before I started this habit, I had a hard time finding podcasts I liked to listen to. The reason that I was so focused on podcasts is that having some form of entertainment was the only way for me to start exercising. Thankfully, my search for a good podcast quickly ended when Spotify recommended me This American Life . I heard of this radio show before, but I didn't know much about it. The moment I listened to its most recent episode, I knew I was hooked. Although my current obsession with This American Life  (TAL)   may be a phase I am going through, I have learned some interesting things from this podcast series that never came across my mind before. After listening to at least 10 episodes, I started to realize that my world that I know of is so small. I have lived in America for 12 years, yet I haven't explored the rich and diverse landscape tha...

Recently, I wondered why no one reads my blogs after I started rereading Cal Newport's How to Be a High School Superstar . In the book, he used blogging as an example to illustrate the advice-guide method. Instead of solely relying on blind effort, this method encourages high school students to ask experts in a particular field they are interested in about advice on how to succeed. Newport took an hour or two to research the characteristics of successful and mediocre blogs. He noticed that the mediocre blogs were informal, didn't have a focus (tangents about author's personal life). More importantly, the bloggers didn't put in a lot of effort in the writing because the ideas were disorganized. For Newport, it appeared that the bloggers cared more about quantity (how many blogs published) than quality. As a result, the ideas were not insightful or unique. Before I keep going, I would like to clarify that Newport was pretending to be a high school student interested in p...

Recently, I received good news that I done well in a competition. Despite the fact I was happy with my results, I still wasn't satisfied. Even if I am aware that I did well in comparison to all the other participants in the competition, I end up comparing myself to the top 0.1% of participants. This comparison makes me look like I am below average. Although I am constantly told by my counselor and parents not to compare myself, I got to admit that it is hard not to do this. It may appear that as we go up the ladder, we will finally reach the point where we are finally content with ourselves. However, I have not yet found that destination. As I go up the ladder, I end up becoming more greedy for rewards and setting higher expectations for myself. When will this vicious cycle ever end?

I know that I wrote a previous blog post about my high school regrets but they sadly came back to me during AP exam period. During May, I was stressed out by thinking of the possible tests I needed to take for senior year. This would include 1-2 SAT subject tests, AP exams, and IB exams. Unlike last year, I had new insights about what I would really wish I could have done if I restarted high school. While I was wondering how much work it would be to study for the SAT biology test because I have to self study a third of the content, I realized that NONE of these worries would exist if I didn't even take the subject test when 10th grade started. I would not have to waste my time during the 2020 summer to study for the SAT biology subject test because I would only need to take SAT chemistry, which is my strength and a subject that isn't as challenging for me. In fact, the colleges I am applying to only require or recommend 1 science SAT subject test. What I have done here is shoot...

I noticed that in the past month, I started to not really feel as excited after my Cold Turkey block ended to go on messaging services. For those who don't know what Cold Turkey is, Cold Turkey is an application that blocks websites for a given amount of time you set (a week in my case). Before, I would be excited to catch up with my friends who live out of state or in a foreign country. Now, however, it doesn't feel as exciting. Before I continue, I would like to clarify that I love my friends and cherish them. My decreased level of excitement is because I don't really like using texting services to communicate with my friends anymore. I wonder if this attitude towards texting makes me an outlier among young adults. I definitely believe texting does serve some useful purpose especially if it is a brief message about where your parents are or when someone will arrive. However, I don't think texting is the optimal way to have conversations with other people. Texting is ...

I noticed that after 2 months of quarantine, I spent less time on my diary. I found that strange because I thought that I would write a lot more because I am by myself in the house for the whole day. I think the quarantine is causing me to slightly become insane by going on notes to type random thoughts that pop into my mind. In my normal day, I would have the opportunity to talk to someone at school about my random thoughts or ideas but with the quarantine I guess I have imaginary conversations. I usually address my friend's name in the beginning of each of these random thoughts. From this shelter in place, I noticed that I am more willing to return back to the blogosphere because although very few people read my blog, posting my thoughts is another way for other people to know how I am currently. For me, blogging is a way to let go of my thoughts that preoccupy my daily life. It is an opportunity for me to reflect, ponder, and organize my thinking. More importantly, blogging is a...